How do I know if I am being bullied?
If you’re being bullied, you might feel as though you:
• are scared to go to school
• feel unsafe and afraid
• have nightmares or can't sleep very well
• don't want to be around your family or friends
• can’t concentrate at school or on your homework
• are getting into trouble all the time
• are angry for no reason
• are not very hungry or are extra hungry
• are dropping out of sports or other activities
• are nervous or jumpy
• suddenly have unexplained headaches or stomach aches
• are sad and ‘down’
• feel anxious and ashamed
• are bursting into tears for no apparent reason
• your school grades have dropped
Being bullied is not your fault, and stopping bullying is everyone’s responsibility. Bullies are driven by reactions and they often become bored and will stop bothering you if there is no reaction.
It’s important to report bullying to a grown-up, such as a parent, teacher, relative or family friend. It is not dobbing – it is letting people who care about you know what is happening. The bully may be doing it to other kids, too, and your reporting may help them as well as stop the bully from doing it to others in the future.
• Do not respond to the bully, and try your best to not show emotion to the bully.
• Never let a bully make you doubt yourself.
• Stay positive – think about all the good things people like about you.
• Hang out with friends who make you feel good about yourself.
• Be confident – it is not personal. The bully is the one with the problem.
Why do cyberbullies bully?
There’s no simple answer for why some people choose to cause pain to others by bullying them. There are lots of possible reasons, but here are some common ones:
• It can simply be a case of someone being in the wrong place at the wrong time and allowing themselves to be easily intimidated.
• Some people who cyberbully think they won’t get caught if they do it on a mobile phone or on the internet.
• The people who cyberbully are jealous, angry or want to have revenge on someone, often for no reason at all.
• Cyberbullies often think that getting their group of friends to laugh at someone makes them look cool or more popular.
• Some people bully others as a form of entertainment or because they are bored and have too much time on their hands.
• Many cyberbullies bully just for laughs or to get a reaction.
The challenge with cyberbullying is that it can take place 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The bully can also remain anonymous. Cyberbullying can change the way you feel about yourself, so if it is affecting you it is important that you talk to a trusted adult.
If you are being cyberbullied, you should:
• Stop – do not retaliate or respond!
• Block them on social media and block their phone number.
• Report them to the app, website or game they’re cyberbullying through, and also report them to the Office of the eSafety Commissioner (www.esafety.gov.au).
• Turn your device off, even if it’s just for 10 minutes, and do something else.
• Collect the evidence – for example, take screenshots and keep messages.
Bullies call names, insult, harass, spread rumours and impersonate other people. They may even threaten to physically harm other people. If there are threats made to harm you or anyone else, talk to a trusted adult.
Here are some more tips for dealing with cyberbullies:
• If pictures of you are shared without your permission, this could be viewed as a breach of your privacy and the police might become involved.
• Tell a trusted adult (a parent, teacher, family friend or relative) about your situation and ask for help to stop the bullying.
• Talk to your friends – they can help you tell a teacher or your parents.
• Make a note of the number the message or call came from and the date and time of it. Talk to your internet service provider (ISP), mobile phone provider or the police about ways to block the perpetrator.
• If you can’t talk to someone face-to-face, visit
Kids Helpline or call a Kids Helpline counsellor on 1800 55 1800.
• If it’s a message or email, save a copy of it, then talk to the police or report the abuse to the social media site it occurred on.
• Reporting is important, as it helps address the bullying and put an end to the behaviour. By reporting, you could also be helping to stop the bully from doing it to others in the future.
• You can
report cyberbullying on the Office of the eSafety Commissioner’s website.
Stopping bullying is everyone’s responsibility. If you see someone else being bullied:
• do not try to fight the bully – they might use it against you.
• say something to the person being bullied so they feel better about themselves. For example, tell them something you like about them or let them know something they are good at.
• support them and help them speak to a trusted adult such as a parent, teacher, aunt, uncle or close family friend.
• give them some helpful tips on blocking, unfriending, unfollowing and reporting the cyberbully.